Books, biscuits and bicycles…

Tim Tam Peanut Butter Flavour

Goodness me. So many new Tim Tams to try. When I originally heard about these, I assumed they were another Zumbo flavour, but they aren’t. It’s just a new range which I understand is exclusive to Coles supermarkets.

Normally I start off these reviews with some gentle chit-chat, perhaps some whimsical storytelling, before describing something about the biscuit, leading up to the ‘reveal’ of how it tasted. Well, today I’m going to do something a bit different, and start with the taste. So, let’s put it out there:

These biscuits are revolting.

Seriously. They are just so bad, I don’t know where to start. Should I mention that they have no peanut butter in them? No actual peanuts, even? Perhaps you’d like to know they smell nasty, like fetid socks? That they taste vaguely like burnt sesame seeds to start with,  quickly transforming into a unappetising artificial smoky flavour as you chew? That they leave a stale, oily residue in the mouth when you’ve finished them? That they have a most unattractive pale brown interior that looks like baby poo?

The exceptionally uninspirational Tim Tam White stands head and shoulders above this miserable effort. Given the choice, I’d choose a dreary BigTedz over one of these any day. What on earth are Arnott’s thinking? These are not just a bad Tim Tam. There’re not even just a bad biscuit by Arnott’s standards. They rate right down there with the worst cheap and nasty imported stuff you get in seasonal packaging on two-for-one offer in Dollar King. Unbelievable. Utterly unbelievable. And I am not alone in this opinion, as illustrated by the responses on Arnott’s facebook page:

Somehow I don’t see this range lasting very long. I’m hesitant even to give them a score, they are so execrable. Zero out of ten? Minus fifty out of ten?