Arnott’s Vita Weat Multigrain

November 18, 2015 at 21:05 | Posted in biscuits | Leave a comment
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vita weat packI had to double check that I hadn’t already looked at the mainstay of the Arnott’s savoury cracker range, but it seems it has been thus far overlooked. Or perhaps I had thought about it, but always struggled.

You see, there’s really nothing whatsoever to say about these biscuits. You see that picture of them, a bit lower down? Well, they taste exactly as you expect from looking at that picture. They are plain crackers, perfectly nice with some cheese, with a few grains in them to add texture. They taste like, erm, plain crackers with some grains in them.

vita weat biscuitOh dear, this isn’t going too well, is it? I mean, I do have some standards, and a minimum word count is one of them. After all, you are paying to read this, and you expect at least something for your money.

The only other vaguely interesting thing I can say about these is that Girl Chillikebab #2 liked the box, and stuck a load of glitter, ribbons, cotton wool and coloured paper to it before announcing she had made it into a marshmallow machine. Fully working, I might add. That is if you like imaginary marshmallows.

I’m going to give these really quite nice crackers a seven out of ten, but then subtract a penalty point for being boring.

 

Lunch Slices – Soy, Linseed & Sesame

September 18, 2013 at 19:56 | Posted in biscuits | 1 Comment
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lunchsliceslsboxA little while ago, I looked at the poppy, sunflower and rye version of these biscuits, and today I turn to the soy, linseed and sesame variety. Clearly Arnott’s are doing some sort of ‘trio of seeds’ thing with this range. I have to say, I wasn’t aware you could actually eat linseeds – I always thought they were designed for spreading on cricket bats, or something. Still, you learn something every day. I wonder if it is the linseeds that are the black bits in the biscuit, making it appear at first glance as if your biscuit is crawling with ants?

As far as they taste, well, you might as well just go and read my previous review, as these taste pretty much exactly the same. Frankly, I’m not sure the change in seeds is really doing very much.

lunchsliceslsbiscuitWhich really doesn’t give me much to write about, does it? I did spread them with avocado this time, which was really quite yummy, but hardly newsworthy.

Oh dear. I’ll just call it a day there, and give these a six out of ten as well. I fear, dear reader, that savoury biscuits do not offer such a rich literary vein as their sweet cousins…

Morning Coffee

April 1, 2011 at 09:31 | Posted in biscuits | 7 Comments
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This morning, I needed to get some milk, so popped out to the corner shop just down the road. It’s one of those amazing local shops that seems to have rather random opening times. When it is open you go in and discover they do all sorts of things; they sell funnels and will cook you a fried egg sandwich. Fertiliser is on the shelf next to the baby food. They stock gas masks.

Now, as I’ve mentioned before, such corner shops are a treasure trove of rarely-sighted Arnott’s biscuits, and on this occasion I was not disappointed. Because on the shelf was a packet of Morning Coffee – a variety I have never seen elsewhere. It was immediately apparent, however, that this was no ordinary packet. The packet design was of the old, out-of-date sort. Arnott’s changed away from this design several years ago, so what was this packet doing here? I turned it over to see if it was indeed an ancient relic, long past its sell-by date. But no, it was current, with a sell-by date of March 2011. Well, here was a fascinating anomaly. I of course had to buy it, and rushed home in excitement. Such excitement, in fact, that I forgot to buy the milk, and then had to go back again in order to be able to make tea.

Interestingly, the Morning Coffee variety does not feature on the main Arnott’s website. Is this line being phased out? Have I secured perhaps a packet from the last ever batch of Morning Coffee ever made? And if so, why have they stopped making it?

A little more research revealed that the Morning Coffee can still be found on the ‘Arnott’s Food Service’ website. Hurrah! It’s not completely dead then. Still, it’s omission from the main website, and the outdated pack design are rather worrying, as if it is on a list to be axed. Please don’t do it, Arnott’s! We love your glorious multitudes!

Anyway, for all that, what is it like? Well, it’s a quite thin rectangular biscuit, embossed with what seems to be a representation of the TV test card. It seems a little institutional, like the kind of biscuit you would get at a hospital, probably with a cup of tea served in a green cup and saucer. Perhaps this is the main market for this line, which explains why Arnott’s do not promote it on their consumer website.

It’s made with golden syrup, and it does have a faint syrupy taste. However don’t get too excited; this is a very boring biscuit. On the plus side it dunks into tea very well indeed; I didn’t try it with coffee because the only coffee I like is espresso and it just seems weird to dunk a biscuit into a thimbleful of strong coffee. But with tea it was really quite good.

It’s pretty much par for the course, as these types of plain biscuits go. With a cup of tea I did manage to nosh through half the packet. I’d give these a very creditable four out of ten.

Marie

March 25, 2011 at 15:27 | Posted in biscuits | Leave a comment
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The Marie biscuit, as I am sure everyone knows, is named after Marie Alexandrovna, the daughter of Czar Alexander II of Russia and wife of Alfred, the second son of Queen Victoria.

Such was the excitement over the 1874 royal wedding between Marie and Alfred that bakers Peek Frean created this biscuit and named it after her. Apparently Marie was quite a sensation, insisting on being called ‘Her Imperial Highness’ and generally lording it over the then Princess of Wales (much to the annoyance of Queen Victoria).

Now I have to say that either the excitement over Marie was not really up to how it is described in the history books, or else Queen Victoria was determined to snub her and had a work with Mr Peek (or perhaps Mr Frean) . What else can explain why, when commemorating such an memorable royal wedding, that Peek Frean created such a boring biscuit? Just a plain old flour-and-vegetable-oil affair, with nothing more than a hint of vanilla to add some interest. I mean it’s OK, and perfectly adequate as a snack. But as a way of commemorating someone who was simultaneously a Russian Grand Duchess, a British Royal Duchess and a Sovereign German Duchess it seems pretty mean – just a few swirls around the edge to give it a regal air.

I’m going to give this biscuit five out of ten, including a bonus point for historical significance.

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