Shapes – Chicken Crimpy

February 23, 2014 at 19:30 | Posted in biscuits | Leave a comment
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chickencrimpyboxWell, here we are with another Shapes review, despite your protestations and howls of derision. However, in my defence I will say that these ones come in a box, and are much larger. indeed, they are more reminiscent of Jatz than of the rest of the shapes range.

They also feature the ‘flavour you can see’ line, but I have to say I’m confused by this. There is no ‘flavour’ to be discerned on these biscuits (unlike the Barbecue Shapes, for example). I suppose you could argue than pretty much anything comestible has ‘flavour you can see’, in the sense that you can see it is an edible item which presumably will taste of something. Perhaps Arnott’s are merely reassuring us that these biscuits are not invisible.

chickencrimpybiscuitThe biscuits have scalloped edges (hence the ‘crimpy’, I suspect), and are about four centimetres across. They are crunchy, and for all the world taste like plain biscuits for cheese sprinkled with a lot of chicken salt. Perhaps that’s what they are. Given the saltiness, I’m not sure they would go with cheese very successfully, but they did dip quite well into a guacamole salsa that I had in the fridge.

I’m going to give these a five out of ten.

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Shapes – Barbecue

February 16, 2014 at 13:30 | Posted in biscuits | 1 Comment
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bbqshapespackIs this a step too far, I wonder? I have begged your indulgence to write about savoury biscuits, and you have responded magnificently,with an overwhelming response asking for cheesy reviews. But this? Sold in a bag, and clearly not meant for putting with a cheeseboard? Well, dear readers, let me know what you think as we step into the dangerous waters of the savoury snack biscuit.

There are a number of things about these that Arnott’s are very keen you should know. Firstly, they are ‘baked not fried’. Well that’s alright then. Clearly slathering fat all over something and then putting it in the oven, rather than merely dipping it into hot oil is to be applauded. After all, potatoes baked in duck fat are practically a health food.

The other thing is that they have ‘flavour you can see’. This seems strange to me. Personally I prefer flavour you can taste. Maybe it’ one of those post-modern things, like paintings you can hear. I looked at the flavour long and hard, but didn’t really get any hint of barbecue – more pencil shavings or bits from the dust-pan. Nothing to suggest burned sausages or parrafin lighter fluid.

bbqshapesbiscuitsTo eat, though, you do get some flavour. It seems the flavour is not just for looking at after all. The biscuit is crunchy and quite OK texture-wise. The flavour is of the generic ‘barbecue’ type, which is to say it really has very little to do with barbecues, and a whole lot to do with monosodium glutamate. Salty, spicy and slightly sweet tasting with a chemical edge that strips your tongue. Oh, and very addictive. The packet will be gone in a flash.

Of course, they are terrible. Artificial, gimmicky and lacking all depth and subtlety, But, for all that, they do deliver on expectations for the genre.

I’m going to give them a four out of ten.

Arnott’s Vita-Weat Cracker Chips

March 12, 2019 at 09:45 | Posted in biscuits | Leave a comment

vita weat chips boxLook, I know. These really aren’t a biscuit. They are a chip. But they are a chip made out of a biscuit. You get Vita-Weats, and then you crush them up, form them into chips and cook them. Or something like that.

They come in individual packets, for snacking – ideal for lunchboxes I suppose. Seven packs per box. Ahh, Arnott’s do love their prime numbers. A numerologist would have a field day at Arnott’s HQ, I feel.

vita weat chips

So, how does this sort of cross over thing work? Well, not all that well, to be honest. They are rather dry, rather tasteless and rather hard in texture. They are better for dipping, but then that’s a bit odd as they come in little packets, and it seems weird to open a load of little packets to put them in a bowl and put them out with some dip.

So I’m going to give these rather unfortunate cross-over hybrids a three out of ten. If you want a savoury snack, there are much much much better options…

 

Choc Banana Tim Tam

October 20, 2015 at 14:56 | Posted in biscuits | Leave a comment
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tim tam choc banana packetExciting news! Another new Tim Tam is here! Goodness, the innovation department at Arnott’s must really be working overtime at the moment. This new line is exclusive to Coles; I suppose to balance the Three Bean Tim Tam that was exclusive to Woolies.

The packaging is a slightly disconcerting yellow colour. I don’t know why it should be disconcerting; bananas are yellow after all. Yet somehow it is, to me at least. I have to say though, I did like the little banana shape behind the ‘New’ flash. Subtle one for the biscuit packet nerds out there. Which, of course, I am NOT. No sir, not me. Ahem.

So what are they like? My very initial instinct was to be worried by the whole concept of banana flavour. I mean, banana flavour never actually tastes of bananas, does it? But then I caught myself. This is Arnott’s we are talking about. They can confound expectation.

When you open the packet, they do smell quite strongly of sort of banana. And when you eat them, they also taste quite strongly of sort of banana. Actually, they taste quite a lot like banana syrup. Not that I’ve ever had banana syrup, to be honest, but I was reliably informed by those who had that this is what it tasted like. This was considered to be a Good Thing, as banana syrup is a delicious sort of grown-up thing, as opposed to banana lollies, which are a kind of revolting kids thing.

I actually thought they were OK. Not my favourite ever, but not at all bad. Not too sweet, banana flavour was quite good, chocolate as always impeccable.

There is one thing you probably need to know about these, though, and that is that they repeat on you. ‘Repeat on you’. Goodness, what a buttoned-up English person I can be. What I mean is that if you eat most of a packet of Banana Tim Tams in one go (which is what I did), you’ll be doing huge banana-flavoured belches for the next 3-4 hours. So be warned.

I’m going to give these a five out of ten.

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