Tim Tam Chewy Caramel

May 8, 2011 at 23:13 | Posted in biscuits | 3 Comments
Tags: Arnott's, biscuit, chewy, crushed, ecstacy, not chewy, tim tam

Chewy. Ahh, chewy. I do enjoy a good chew; a good hunk of golden toffee, some hard jubes, even some Redskins now and again.

So as you can imagine, I was pretty excited to get my hands on the Chewy Caramel version of the Tim Tam. I rushed them home, but rather than tearing into them, I carefully put them in the fridge. I wanted to get the optimal chewy experience, so painfully watched the minutes tick by as they cooled down.

The delay did give me time, however, to look up the meaning of ‘Chewy’ on the internetz. Here’s what it had to say:

Oh yes. By now my gums where aching in anticipation of needing to chew ‘hard or for some time’. Nom nom nom.

Finally, I judged they were ready. I took them from the fridge, and took one out. They look just like regular Tim Tams, but I knew better. Nestled between those two biscuits was a layer of chewy caramel capable of delivering ecstasy.

I took a bite, wondering if the caramel would crack and then need softening in the mouth, or would extend into a long string as I pulled the biscuit apart.

It did neither. It just sort of collapsed in a soft, unstructured way. What was wrong? Was there some mistake? I took another bite, but the realisation was dawning. These were not chewy at all. They were insipid and flabby; filled with run of the mill soft caramel that my one-year-old’s toothless gums would make light work of in a matter of moments.

What a disappointment. I was crushed; a broken man. There would be no chewing for me that day. Disconsolately I finished the packet, numbly noting the runny caramel depicted on the pack that I had previously missed, teasing me about my chewing fantasies.

These deserve a one out of ten. Not because they are that bad; indeed if they were simply called the ‘Caramel Tim Tam’ I’d probably give them a creditable six or seven. But to play so fast and loose with my emotions, to inflict such cruelty – well, for that they get a one.